sharinglifexperiences.com

       I have wondered about this for some time. We all know the saying…”Change is Good!!’  But if that is true, then why do we constantly fight against changing.  Do we fight to keep things the same because of familiarity, because we don’t know what may lie ahead, or because to change means we were wrong about something or wrong in our thinking? I have come to the belief that we fight against change out of FEAR.

                I can be the first to admit that FEAR has paralyzed me a few times.  It has stopped me dead in my tracks from making major decisions. It has caused me to stay at a job years longer after I had out grown it. It has caused me to not speak up when I should have.  And it also caused me to stay in a relationship when I knew me and the other person were not meant to be together and were going in different directions.  I could go on and on and on. And I am positive that most of you can relate.

                It took me a few years to realize that change REALLY is GOOD and that FEAR isn’t reality. FEAR is something that we conjure and create in our own minds. It’s the outcome of the change that we aren’t sure about. When I look back over my life and all the things that I have gone through, I can honestly say each experience has made me the person who I am. Those changes whether voluntary or forced, propelled me to another level in my life.  I would not have achieved or attained that level had I continued to fight against that change. If our desire is to reach a higher plane or live our lives to the fullest possibly, staying stationary and avoiding changes is not going to get us there.  We are going to have to get off that couch, get out of the house, pick up a book, have that hard conversation, make that doctor’s appointment, see a counselor, find a place of worship, go back to school, get a job, get another job if needed, cook more often, stop unnecessary shopping, hurt some feelings, get in some exercise, leave that abusive relationship, etc., etc. ……in order to embrace whatever change that is needed to get us where we need to be.

                I don’t want to be one of the ones who this time next year is singing the same old song about why I haven’t accomplished or achieved the goals I have set for myself. I say we accept change and welcome it whenever it comes!!!! 

And in the words of Sam Cook…It’s been a long, long time coming… But I know… a change is going to come……oh, yes it is!!!!

By Kelster ~~

Atlanta, The Gayest City in America…

This article hit the stands a couple of weeks ago. When I received a copy of it on my email, naturally my closest girlfriends and I had a discussion on it. How did you feel when you read it? Was I shocked, angry or in fear of living in the city labeled the ‘Gayest’? 

With 29 Gay bars, in a city of more than 200 bars, it did not strike me at all as strange or shocking. I have been living here 13 years and I have met a lot of people during that time, some gay, some straight.  I don’t knock the ATL for opening its arms to the gay community. Giving them a place they can come and be themselves…  In this day and time, the world has changed, and it has given us all the opportunity to do whatever we have the desire and strength to do. I would prefer to live in a city where people are comfortable being who they are, rather than being surrounded by people who are living a lie!

So what, Atlanta is a city filled with a lot of people who are living their lives in a way that makes them happy. It is not my job to judge how someone else lives their life, so I personally don’t have an issue with that. As a matter of fact I prefer it. I prefer to surround myself with people who are unafraid to be themselves.

I do not see the article as a negative, I see it as an observation. We live in a city labeled ‘The Gayest in America’ and I take that as a compliment.  With our hot boys and lovely girls!!  Lets take PRIDE in being a part of this great place we call Hotlanta …oh I mean the ATL!!

By Rawn~~

Her exact words were “There aren’t any good Black men around and the ones who are available are either soft with all that nice shit or on the down low…” Wow, what a way to categorize an entire establishment of men. But her opinion and words aren’t all too unfamiliar to my ears as the words come with desired impact from the mouths of many Black women and women in general who wonder when the Black man will end his hiatus? As her words melted upon my inner most thoughts like a snowflake at the Taste of Chicago in July the impact was initially laughable to me but then it did make me question like, really? I wasn’t offended because I know a real man and his worth because I look one in the mirror everyday of my life. I know that even though the numbers are staggering in terms of incarcerated Black men the numbers of us who are keeping ourselves educated and motivated is on the rise but seldom reported. I know even though there would seem to be more cats identifying themselves as Playas the believable fact is there are men who love being married to one woman the way Proverbs 5:18-19 say it should be. The words she spoke were from the heart of what some would define as a hardened woman who has had enough of being mistreated. To me they come from the spirit of confusion within a deflated, not defeated woman. Confused because she wants to know why we act this way and to be honest so do I.

Although she said the words aloud and directly to me I took them as her cry for someone, particularly a Black man, to take notice of her and not her breast as she spoke. She wanted a man to hear her plea and not hear in his head the futuristic breaths of her sighs as they exchanged sex faces. She wanted to be regarded as the missing piece to an enigmatic riddle instead of a pawn that gets jumped and discarded in this game of life. See I get it because my mother has always preached responsibility to me. Amazingly as I write this those words took affect upon me and influenced these words of profound possibilities. It was as if that snowflake in July became a blizzard as I was frozen in her whiteout. Was it a freak of nature or God’s intention to freeze my ways then thaw out a new way of thinking about my actions and the motives of those like me?

by N8

N8 * the views & opinions expressed in this blog aren’t necessarily influenced by those who know me

http://n8_todd.livejournal.com/

My husband of 11 months just recently started a new job 3 weeks ago with a new company he is not too fond of. Being on a 90-day probation, he is not allowed to take any time off until his probation is up. So when he calls in to work this morning, claiming that he is sick, I give him a funny look and in my mind I am thinking, WTF? (I hope you all know what that means, if not, oh well). Anyway, he tells me he has quite a few errands to run and I know all of his Christmas shopping is done, so again I am like, WTF? Getting dressed and going to work is slow going for me because I am trying my best to see what he’s got planned that day, but not wanting to be late, I shower, dress, get in my jeep and go; still wondering what’s up with him not going to work. I talk to him briefly throughout the course of my work day, anxious to get home and find out where he is and what he’s been doing. Driving home is a headache, I live about 7 miles away from my job and I’m weaving in and out of traffic like there’s no such thing as the popo (police). When I get there, his car is there and I’m thinking, this man could’ve gone to work today. When I open the door I am shocked to see him standing there in the den, hammer, nails and tool box in hand. Putting down my keys, I ask, “What in the world are you doing?” I’m curious, because my husband is by no means a handyman. His remedy for fixing a leaking faucet or patching up a hole is duct tape. So he puts the tools down and says to me all excited-like, “Baby, I stayed home from work today to take care of the honey-dos”. “WTF?” I ask. “The honey-dos,” he says again, smiling like a kid. “For six months you have been asking me, honey do this, honey do that and I’ve been ignoring them because you no I’m not a handyman, but today I thought I’d surprise you by taking the day off and fixing all of your honey-dos.” I didn’t know what to say as I walked through the house and, sure enough, all the things (8 in all) I’ve been trying to get him to do, he has done. As I turned to him and wrapped my arms around his neck, with tears in my eyes, I whispered to him, “Honey, I do love you.”

by Carolyn Moore Hargrove